From Abandon Ship to Co-Captains: Redefining Executive Partnerships
In a truly empowered HPEP — High Performing Executive Partnership — it feels as if the boat sails itself. Not because you're coasting, but because every adjustment is instinctive.
Every movement is aligned.
From the outside, it looks effortless cruising.
From the inside, it feels like trust in motion.
But it didn’t start there.
For most Executive–EA relationships, the early days feel more like frantic paddling than graceful co-leadership.
Mismatched expectations, unclear rhythms, emotional friction, or a lack of structural support can turn even the most capable duo into a dynamic of silent survival.
This is the story of how we go from Abandon Ship to Co-Captains — and why getting there isn’t just a luxury. It’s a leadership necessity.
The Drift Begins
Many new partnerships begin under pressure.
The Executive is overwhelmed.
The EA needs time to get clear.
More often than not, there’s no 'detailed shared map' just a backlog of tasks and a vague hope that things will click.
In this stage, we see:
- Emotional hesitation or micro-management
- Frustrated repetition of instructions
- Constant checking, correcting, or cleaning up
This is Life Raft Level — where the only goal is not to sink.
Some partnerships stabilise into Level 1: Row Boat Mode, where things start to function but still feel frantic. It’s better — but barely. Energy is being spent just staying afloat.
Without intervention, this stage breeds silent resentment and unspoken doubt. Many Executive–EA relationships fail here, not from lack of care, but through lack of naming the uncertainties, activating new systems (rather than relying on inherited processes from the past duo), and taking time to validate what the best working structure and support is, for you both to thrive in this new dynamic.
The Turning Point: Enter the Triple S System
Real change begins when the pair stops reacting and starts rigging.
This is where the Triple S Co-Captains System begins its work. It offers three essential riggings:
Skillset (Emotional Rigging)
A skill is typically defined as the learned capacity to carry out a specific task with determined results, often within a given timeframe and energy level.
More broadly:
- It’s a developed ability that improves effectiveness or performance.
- It can be taught, practiced, and refined — as opposed to being purely instinctual or personality-based.
- It’s context-dependent — the same skill can be applied differently in various environments.
Most importantly, these skills translate awareness into action, so it’s not just knowing when, what, or why, but being able to do something with it.
In the context of Emotional Rigging Skillset — emotional safety, tone, and truth-telling — aren’t just intuitive reactions; they are learned, practiced, and essential emotionally developed skills that directly shape how a partnership performs under pressure. This rigging is about how communication feels as it gets fine-tuned.
To make this practical:
- Emotional Safety: Is your team afraid to tell you the truth, or is your 1:1 a space where candour deepens trust?
- Tone: Do you know how your tone shifts when you're under pressure — and how that affects your EA's confidence or clarity?
- Truth-Telling: Can you both name the "real thing" going on, without delay or defensiveness?
Without emotional safety, even seasoned professionals avoid giving feedback, hesitate to ask clarifying questions, and instead build silent walls around vulnerability. Skillset rigging ensures the skills of establishing truth. Confident to be heard to speak up without fear, tonality becomes a tool not a trigger, and emotional nuance is not ignored but leveraged.
It's the human rudder for resilience under pressure.
Try This: Ask your EA: “When do I come across as most open to feedback — and when do I feel harder to approach?” Don’t defend. Just listen. Your skillset grows with every real answer you let land.
Toolset (Structural Rigging)
A toolset refers to the collection of systems, frameworks, and repeatable processes that transform intention into execution.
Unlike raw talent or emotional instinct, a toolset is about structure: it provides the scaffolding that ensures things get done — consistently, clearly, and collaboratively. Toolset rigging translates trust into structure: it’s how shared calendars, task boards, briefing rhythms, and handover protocols reduce missteps.
However, toolsets aren’t just operational checklists — they’re the rhythm-makers of high-performing partnerships. They translate shared goals into shared workflows. When built well, the right toolset reduces cognitive load, prevents dropped balls, and allows both Executive and EA to move in sync without constant supervision or re-explanation.
A dependable toolset means:
- Clarity: You don’t have to re-negotiate how work flows, every week or month.
- Confidence: Visibility is built-in through reliable systems — not reliant on someone’s memory or an Executive’s micromanagement.
- Commitment: Accountability feels shared, not stressful.
Consider this: An Executive was frequently frustrated by misaligned travel bookings and delayed responses. After implementing a structured Monday morning 20-minute handover using a shared dashboard and red-yellow-green status flags, communication friction dropped significantly. The clarity didn’t just fix the travel plans — it gave back 1–2 hours of Executive focus every week.
In the absence of toolset rigging, emotional trust is strained by procedural confusion — and the most intuitively connected partnerships can crumble under chaos if they lack operational clarity.
Without it, assumptions multiply, things slip, and accountability feels personal rather than procedural. With it, decisions flow, visibility sharpens, and execution becomes dependable.
Mindset (Developmental Rigging)
A mindset is not a fixed trait — it’s the internal orientation that shapes how we interpret friction, feedback, and forward motion. In the context of high-performing partnerships, developmental mindset rigging is what ensures the relationship doesn’t just function — it evolves.
Unlike skillset (how we feel and relate) and toolset (how we operate and execute), mindset rigging governs how we learn and grow together over time. It is what turns tasks into transformation — and performance into progress.
Without it, even well-oiled systems become stagnant. Great rhythms become rigid. Roles become boxes rather than launchpads.
Mindset rigging introduces:
- Reflection: Space to assess what’s working, what’s not, and what needs to shift.
- Growth: A shared appetite for development — of the role, the relationship, and each person’s capacity.
- Evolution: Regular recalibration so that the partnership keeps pace with the changing business, not just the calendar.
Often overlooked because it feels less urgent than toolsets and less visible than skillsets, mindset rigging is pivotal — especially when a partnership plateaus. The real-world trigger? When tension arises repeatedly over the same issue despite 'fixes' being implemented — that's not a tools or skills issue. That’s a mindset gap.
A mature mindset rigging makes room for the hard conversations. It turns friction into fine-tuning. And it ensures that both Executive and EA aren't just executing the same old playbook — they're co-authoring a new one as complexity and responsibility increases.
Without this rigging, the danger isn’t failure — it’s flatlining. The partnership may survive, but it will not stretch.
With it, performance doesn’t just improve — it regenerates.
When Precision Is a Matter of Life and Legacy: The Thunderbirds Lesson
A striking example of the Triple S System in action comes from an unexpected but powerful place — the U.S. Air Force Thunderbirds.
Historically, the Thunderbirds have been renowned for their tight, precise formations, often flying just 18 inches apart at speeds nearing 1,000 mph. However, the documentary reveals that over time, there was a tendency to slightly widen these formations. This change, while seemingly minor, was intended to reduce risk but paradoxically led to an increase in accidents. The broader spacing disrupted the pilots' spatial awareness and timing, making the formations less stable and more prone to errors.
Lt. Col. Justin 'Astro' Elliott, the 2022–2023 team's commander, emphasised that the essence of their performance lies in the closeness of their formations. He notes that the precision required in tight formations fosters a heightened sense of trust and coordination among pilots, which is crucial for safety.
When new leadership stepped in during the 2020s, they didn’t just ask for tighter flying — they reshaped the way the entire team worked, communicated, and grew:
- Skillset: Psychological safety was rebuilt through open, judgment-free debriefs. Pilots spoke candidly about what went wrong, what they feared, and how to adjust — without blame.
- Toolset: Standard operating procedures were tightened. Checklists, review protocols, timing drills, and air choreography became even more rigorous, creating structural clarity.
- Mindset: A culture of blind trust was embedded — one where every pilot knew their life depended not just on their own skill, but the predictable precision of their team. Growth was no longer optional — it was daily.
What Astro Did Differently
While "blind trust" always existed as a performance necessity, Elliott elevated it into a leadership ethos. Under his command:
- He tightened formation standards after identifying the trend of widening gaps — a shift that had crept in over time, possibly due to a fear-driven mindset masked as safety.
- He recognised that precision wasn’t the problem; complacency was. The culture had drifted from elite performance into false caution.
- He reframed "blind trust" as a shared responsibility, not just a technical outcome — building it into daily debriefs, coaching, and mindset training.
The documentary spotlights Maj. Jake 'Primo' Impellizzeri, the right wing pilot (Thunderbird 3), as he grapples with the challenges of the extreme 'High Bomb Burst' manoeuvre. This complex routine demanded his precise rejoining in the following 'Diamond' formation under extreme G-forces.
Despite his excellent capabilities, Impellizzeri faces repeated difficulties, leading to self-doubt and frustration.
His journey underscores the critical role of his team, supporting him to build his own confidence and their trust in him, and the perseverance required to achieving "Blind Trust." It only happened after repeated failed attempts and one critical near miss.
In effect, Astro returned the Thunderbirds to their original core — but with a modern leadership lens that emphasised emotional resilience, performance reviews, and mutual accountability.
The outcome? 'Primo' worked through the practices and was able to deliver with breath-holding precision. The 2023 Thunderbirds weren’t just extraordinary — they became the most synchronised, trusted version of their squadron in history.
They didn’t push harder. They aligned tighter.
And that’s exactly what the Triple S System offers Executive Partnerships.
What the Thunderbirds demonstrate in the sky, HPEP delivers on the ground: the power of emotional safety, clear systems, and co-evolving mindset — not as abstract ideals, but as daily disciplines that protect people and power performance.
Just like pilots who must fly in absolute sync to avoid disaster, Executive–EA partnerships thrive when built on trust, disciplined structure, and continuous growth.
Because whether you're flying jets or steering organisations, precision isn't about perfection — it's about alignment.
Turning Trust into Traction: Why the Bridge Matters
If the Triple S System is your rigging — the stabilising lines of emotional safety, structural clarity, and developmental momentum — then the Bridge is your navigation map. It’s not another framework. It’s the how — the step-by-step implementation that ensures these three critical components aren’t just understood, but installed, refined, and matured over time.
Where the rigging holds the integrity of your ship, the Bridge gets you moving in the right direction — intentionally and together.
It turns emotional insight into actionable trust. It turns operational structure into visible momentum. It turns reflective growth into compounding performance.
This is how trust becomes traction, and how Executive Partnerships evolve — not just by working together, but by growing forward together.
The Bridge isn’t separate from the Skillset, Toolset, and Mindset — it’s how those riggings get installed, reinforced, and expanded. It’s the "how" that transforms theory into traction.
Through six transitions, the Bridge ensures your partnership evolves with clarity, cadence, and co-ownership — from reactive tasks to regenerative trust.
Crossing the HPEP Bridge
- Build Psychological Safety – Trust is the foundation.
- Emotional safety is more than being ‘nice’. It’s the felt sense that truth is welcome — especially when it's uncomfortable. Without it, the EA won’t speak up. With it, your decisions get sharper because no insight is withheld.
- Try this: At your next 1:1, conclude with this question: “Is there anything we’re avoiding that would make things easier for both of us if it were named?” Then pause. Don’t fill the silence. Make it safe for them to speak.
- Recognise Effort and Results – Appreciation isn’t a bonus; it’s a bond.
- Invisible labour, when unrecognised, silently erodes morale. It’s not about grand gestures — it’s about tuned-in attention to what’s going unnoticed, and the ripple it creates.
- Try this: Once a week, name one thing your EA did that made your day smoother — and link it to how it impacted your performance. Don’t just say “Thanks” — share why it mattered.
- Integrate Learning from Mistakes – Turn friction into forward motion.
- Most teams bury mistakes under silence. But every dropped ball is a blueprint for clarity. Partnership maturity shows not in how well you perform, but how well you course-correct.
- Try this: After a slip up, ask: “What would need to exist for this not to happen again — structurally or emotionally?” Let the answer shape your next rhythm or system — not just an apology.
- Define Mutual Expectations – Clarity replaces assumption.
- Assumptions are the silent saboteurs of trust. Misfires aren’t usually from incompetence, but from incompatible pictures of ‘done’.
- Try this: Choose one repeated task or deliverable and co-design the success criteria. Literally say, “Let’s define what ‘done well’ looks like — so neither of us has to guess.”
- Grow Communication Rhythms – Build cadence into connection.
- Communication can’t rely on urgency. It needs rhythm — not just to ‘talk’ more, but to reduce reactivity and rebuild momentum.
- Try this: Institute a 15-minute Weekly Reset. It’s not an update. It’s a rhythm-builder. Use it to share what’s shifting, what needs clarification, and what emotional temperature each of you are bringing into the week.
- Elevate the Partnership – Align the work with the vision.
- Once the foundation is strong, the work must connect to something bigger — not just what you're doing, but why you’re doing it, together.
- Try this: Every quarter, hold a 30-minute Elevation Session:
- Ask, “Where have we grown? Where are we playing too small? And what could we do next to support each other’s bigger impact?” Make this part of your leadership rhythm — not a luxury.
Each step is simple — but not always easy. This bridge isn’t a shortcut. It’s a transformation to excellence and even one of the best pilots in the world needed more than 50 attempts to nail his part in the team formations.
Mapping Momentum: From Co-Creation to Co-Captaincy
The Bridge gives us the behavioural blueprint — the how of transformation. But how do you know where you’re starting from, or how far you’ve come?
That’s where the Partnership Impact Multiplier comes in.
Think of it as your leadership altimeter — measuring emotional elevation, operational flow, and adaptive agility over time. Each level signals a shift, not just in what gets done, but in how it feels to work together.
This model isn’t linear, and it’s definitely not a performance review.
It’s a diagnostic journey — helping you notice where the energy is stuck, where the support is strained, and where trust is ready to deepen.
Let’s map the six stages…
Level 1: Disengaged Assistance
🚣Like a Row Boat or Dinghy
Some tasks get done, but not in sync. Instructions are given multiple times, tensions remain unspoken, and effort feels unrecognised. It’s better than the raft, but just barely — you're still in survival paddling mode.
IP Insight: Function exists without flow. There is effort, but it’s inefficient. Trust is tentative, and the relationship is more reactive than reliable.
Level 2: Reactive Support
🔊 Like a Submarine
Support is mostly under the surface. The EA executes well, but the work is invisible or delayed. Communication is unclear or overly cautious. The partnership feels slow to surface, emotionally or operationally.
IP Insight: This level hides undercurrents. What looks quiet on the surface often masks disengagement or confusion. Misalignment thrives in silence, and psychological safety is still missing.
Level 3: Reliable Execution
🚤Like a Rescue Boat
Tasks are completed with increasing confidence. Systems are emerging, rhythms are forming, and the EA is dependable when directed. The partnership is stable, though not yet strategic.
IP Insight: This is the foundation of trust. Output is reliable, but leadership remains hierarchical. There's room to grow from operational competence to co-creative contribution.
Level 4: Strategic Anticipation
🛥 Like a Speed Boat
The EA moves ahead of the curve. There is shared understanding of goals, direction, and tone. The partnership has built anticipation, agility, and autonomy — and navigates at speed
IP Insight: This level marks the shift from supporting to partnering. Trust enables preemptive action, and communication becomes more intuitive and strategic. It’s high pace, low drag.
Level 5: Empowered Partnership
⛵️Like a Sailing Yacht
Every movement feels fluid. The EA doesn’t just anticipate — they co-lead. The Executive operates in their zone of genius, unencumbered by detail, and the EA serves as a strategic extension.
IP Insight: This is Co-Captaincy. Adjustments are made without friction. Emotional, operational, and developmental rigging are working in harmony. It’s not just high-performing — it’s regenerative.
Each level reflects emotional alignment, structural capacity, and developmental readiness. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s conscious progress.
You may start in the dinghy, be steady in the rescue boat, or ready to trim the sails of an empowered partnership. But knowing where you are is the first step to evolving how you can evolve your work together.
What Happens When You Don’t continue evolving? The Cost of Misalignment
For all the emotional nuance and operational structure a great partnership brings, the real question is this: What’s the cost of not evolving our partnership?
When the riggings stay loose and the bridge is never crossed, the consequences aren’t always immediate — but they are inevitable. From reactive misfires and decision fatigue, to underperformance and disengagement, unaligned partnerships quietly bleed productivity and trust. And eventually, the cracks reach beyond the duo — rippling across entire teams and outcomes.
That’s why this work isn’t just a leadership luxury — it’s a business incentive - and imperative.
Gallup’s 2025 report revealed global engagement dropped to 21%, costing an estimated $8.8 trillion in lost productivity. Only 27% of managers are engaged themselves, and just 44% have received formal leadership training.
The math is simple: disengagement costs. Trust pays.
KKR recognised this when one of their CEOs led a firm from a highly successful $90 million to a whopping $8 billion through integration of empathic leadership.
Instead of increasing command and control, she practiced active listening, human-first decision-making, and emotional intelligence.
KKR didn’t just praise her — they built a training program (with Stanford backing it) to replicate her results.
Empathy is no longer optional. It’s performance-critical.
Is it time you started to think beyond the 'immediate effort' thinking and switch to a 'future possibility' mentality?
From Reactive Support to Empowered Co-Leadership
A high-performing Executive Partnership doesn’t happen by chance. It happens by design — and it becomes the multiplier for everything else that leader touches.
When the partnership is misaligned, the leader stays overwhelmed, the EA stays under-utilised, and the team - and dare I suggest organisation - suffers from drag, delay, or disengagement.
But when it’s working?
- The Executive can lead with clarity and space.
- The EA contributes with confidence and impact.
- The team feels the ripple effect of alignment, rhythm, and respect.
You don’t just support performance — you elevate it to excellent or even extraordinary.
Final Thought: You Don’t Build Co-Captains in a Crisis
Here's my warning though... if you wait for the storm, it’s already too late.
Empowered partnerships are built proactively — through intentional rhythm, regular recalibration, and emotional attunement.\
They’re built by regularly walking back and forth across the HPEP Bridge.\
By constantly adjusting your Triple S Rigging System.\
By aligning not just on goals, but on how you get there.
And when you do?
The ship doesn’t just stay afloat. It flies.
It doesn’t look like work.
It looks like wisdom in motion.
Because when you're Co-Captains, the boat doesn’t just carry your mission — it becomes a vehicle for your entire legacy.
So, what’s your next step toward Co-Captaincy?
