How Landing On Your Own Empowered Decision Can Lead To Your Ultimate Success
Have you got a Biiig Decision you’re in the middle of?
One of those life-changing, heart-aching, You’re DAMMED either way kind of decisions?
It’s rocking you to your core and you have no idea how you’re gonna get through this, but you know you’re going to have to face the music and dance with this shit one way or another.
Your mind can’t stop mulling over all of the angles, your head and heart are in the constant conflict leaving you exhausted, overwhelmed, and no further forward in doing anything productive about it.
I’ve been there twice in my life. They were both completely different and earth-shattering outcomes. But in both instances (which seems like a trivial word) had to decide how to go about walking the freeking path anyway.
• Perhaps it’s a financial decision that is going to add to your stress but it still needs to be made.
• Maybe you have a health issue that either way you turn is a painful or shitty result.
• Your family pet may need lifesaving treatment that will add financial pressure
• It may be time to make a career decision that will blow up your family’s world of stability and certainty.
• Or it could be the other kind, the soul-destroying emotional kind that involves matters of the heart.
Regardless of the subject of your torment, it can be hell navigating the turmoil rolling around your head like a tropical thunderstorm. Moments of calm broken with anxiety-driven clashes of fear and doubt.
In a matter of seconds, you go from a state of quiet to being then struck with a lightning bolt of new ‘what if’ thoughts that shatter the skies again.
What can amplify the confusion and flip-flopping is when the choice is not really your own. You are responding to something that has happened ‘to’ you. The control lies with an external person that is fucking your world up whether you can cope or not.
It doesn’t even make sense, why is this happening, what have I DONE to deserve this BS situation to become our reality. How did it come to this!
Perhaps there isn’t any alignment with what you’re working towards, with all of your heart and soul you disagree with the fallout that has now landed in your lap to resolve.
How am I supposed to continue with everything else in life with this ‘thing’ hanging over my head like an Armageddon storm?
At times it feels like the tears aren’t your own, they come from deep within, both from ego and desire. Yearning for an alternative option, to turn back the clock or to simply stop the world from spinning (just for a few moments (please)) to pause the relentless emotional onslaught.
But somehow, we have to pick ourselves off the floor, couch, from the safe place under the bed covers and face the reality… this is happening and we have to get through this… somehow.
We may never be at total peace with the decision (although that’s the goal) but finding acceptance may be possible by working through ALL of the emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
It’s not about making anything wrong, the clarity comes through the acknowledgment of them, learning and appreciating what they care about, to find a place to file them.
To take back control of the aspects we do have a choice about and move 1 tiny step forward at a time.
The process I’m about to go through may not all be suitable for the horror you are working through, but I do hope something else to ease the burden you are trudging through life with – or worse burying deep hoping it will somehow resolve on its own.
So ‘how’ do we work through them? The pile of mini choices, and fall-out implications, seems like a horror scene from a movie. An archive box of receipts not sorted for 10 years, with the taxman looming with his deadlines and ultimatums. It’s not easy to start doing what we need to be done.
Well, here are a few tips that got me through my gut-wrenching episodes from the very first stage of emotional waterfalls to the building of the pyramid of power.
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT 🚵♀️ 🚵♀️ 🚵♀️
I found doing something that helped me feel physically strong helped in a couple of ways. (I went to a pump class and dug deep to focus on my internal strength and determination) if you’re injured perhaps doing something mental or vocal could be an alternative – more on that below.
• it helped shift the funky state, enough to have glimmers of progress thoughts
• I felt empowered with surges of anger, it prepared me for the next step
CRY ABOUT IT 😭 😭 😭
It helps to be exhausted so that you can ‘go there. I found bottling up my tears didn’t stop them from coming. I realised after multiple sleepless nights, not eating properly, and being physically drained I was able to let down my guard after my draining workout. Feeling completely spent, let my bottomless well of tears flow.
Of course, you can hold it together and release it in a way that serves (a sauna can be great too!), I highly suggest making time to allow this pressure release. And have a notebook handy…
FEEL IT – LIKE PROPERLY 💔 💔 💔
Expressing your feelings is more than allowing the anger, fear, and/or sadness to be released it bring them out into the light of day. When we don’t allow the emotions to rise, our inner self is feeling unheard, suppressed, and ultimately out of the picture entirely, causing more angst.
PURGE IT ✏️✏️✏️
Write down everything that is going through your mind and body, without making sense of them (yet).
- What are you angry about specifically?
- What is the biggest fear, then the next, and so on?
- Ask questions of yourself such as, where does this come from?
- Why do I feel this way?
- What else do I fear?
When you have emotionally purged, allow yourself some time to do ANYTHING that makes you feel better. Cook a meal to share with those you care about, go for a walk long enough to feel as though you took time out for yourself. Do some exercise, or carry out an act of kindness.
Whatever it is, allow enough time between the purge and reset, before the next step – it could be days, whatever works for you. Remember, you can still add to your purge list as new things come up.
The racing, looping thoughts should start to ease up now.
Keep rewarding yourself and being kind to your feelings, you are a human, and by necessity, our subconscious stores associations to our emotions and we must acknowledge them.
HOLLER ABOUT IT 🎼 🎶 🎼
Find a ‘fight’ or ‘surrender’ song that resonates with your soul, here are a few ideas for inspiration.
Now go sing it as loudly as your neighbours wouldn’t call the police. Holler it out of your body completely that your body is vibrating with the essence of the words.
Power Songs
I Was Here – Beyonce MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE EMPOWERMENT SONG
You Haven’t Seen The Last of Me – Cher
I am Telling You – Jennifer Hudson
I am Beautiful – Christina Aguilera
Cher – Christina Aguilera
Fighter – Christina Aguilera
Single Ladies – Beyonce
I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan
Surrender Songs
Life Me Up – Christina Aguilera
I’m Gonna Be Alright – Jennifer Lopez
Somewhere In the World – Altiyan Childs
I Never Told you – Colbie Caillat
REFRAME 🛤 🛤 🛤
Now is the time to address it all, in a considered and grown-up way. Gather all of the facts from the professionals and look at your purge list.
Take some time out for yourself to do this part. It can’t be rushed or shortcut. It’s important to understand what is driving all the pain and suffering.
What are the easiest false beliefs or movie scripts that can be scored through as it’s not actually factually based? What is BS that can be tossed out with the trash?
What needs further information?
What still scares the bejesus out of you?
By addressing what you have answers for the overwhelm and clutter is reduced leaving the ‘real’ issues to be dealt with.
TALK TO A NON BIASED ADVISOR 🆘 🆘 🆘
One of the most difficult parts of decision-making is the influence and impact on other aspects and others.
Those around you care deeply about you and as a result bring in their opinions, ideas, and even judgement.
This can definitely continue the flip-flopping. By adding these external suggestions to your purge list you can also address them. Sure it sucks to add to your personal exhaustion but better to bring them into the open at the same time.
Taking the remainder of the purge list, talk through (with an open mind) alternative ways forward that you may not have considered. The goal is to find a level of acceptance for each and every line. To know what the pros and cons are and even if not happy with the answer, to recognise it is at least an answer.
OWN YOUR SHIT 😈😈😈
It’s time to grab this mother-effing demon and look it in the eyes. All of the stuff going through your mind and body comes from within, now you can take ownership of it. You can do this in two ways
- Like a bully, tell it you’re taking control, you’re no longer afraid of its hold over you
- Like a baby, hear its fear and finally tell it you’ve got this, you’re gonna release it of its duties and responsibility
Either way, you are taking back the reins and owning this outcome. You are the one that has to live with it, the emotions will come and go. So OWN this package of shit and decide how you are going to move forward.
TAKE YOUR POWER BACK 🦸♀️🦸♂️🦸♀️
Meditate and bring in your superheroes to surround you and charge up your new beliefs with the final remaining pieces.
Embrace the new future and decide you’re ready to step into your own cape of power.
ANCHOR IT ⚓️⚓️⚓️
Find a reason why this can be a possible outcome. It can be as simple (and powerful as) thanking the universe it’s happening to you and not to somebody else you care about that would struggle waaaay more.
It can be a future bonus that makes sense to nobody else but you, but this is the thing that you can come back to every time doubts creep back.
UNLEASH YOUR COURAGE 🤩💥🎉💘
You’ve got HERE, to the place of embodying your decision (doesn’t matter how long it’s taken). Though you still may not be happy with the way you had to make your decision, nonetheless, the decision is done, you can now move forward with a sense of ownership and control of it.
Hopefully, you even have a plan of attack for how you’re going to live with it. You may have to rebuild your identity and do a lot more uncomfortable things but at least, how it rolls out from here, is partly in your hands.
Go forth with bravery and acceptance that life can be a bloody rough and tough ride but now you get to drive the bus and make the micro choices and adjustments along the way.
As an empathic healer, one of the most powerful technique we have available to us is going within and finding the answers or guidance. This can be hard to do our your own but through guided facilitation, you can get around the walls of protection and see the light behind. Then quantum coaching creates a path from that clarity.
Many of my clients have been able to make difficult heart decisions and work through all of the associated issues tied up and clouding up the process.
In my Soul Success Program, we take your crumbling world and rebuild you into a strong more soul-aligned model to not only make those debilitating decisions but also follow them through with certainty and clarity.